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  “Including your family — that’s something that you share,” Cassie added softly. “Does she find that a comfort?”

  “I haven’t told her yet,” Katie answered, shifting her gaze to the window before girding her courage and facing her friend. “I’m trying to inspire confidence in the child. If she knows about my losses, it might add to her fears.”

  Cassie didn’t push the matter, for which Katie was grateful, but the compassion in her face made Katie have to swallow the lump forming in her throat. She coughed lightly to clear it and carried on briskly. “Anyhow, she’s a bright little girl, quick to learn, and responds well to any guidance from me. For the most part, she seems to be taking her change of circumstances in stride, but she has a heightened fear of death. She is afraid of the doctor, and worries about going to her friend’s house because the girl’s grandmother died recently.” She paused to sip her tea. Katie then continued in an even softer voice. “I fear I’m not going to be enough for her as a single woman. I won’t be able to provide siblings for her. And I worry that every child needs the influence of both a man and a woman in their lives.”

  Cassie reached across the table and patted her friend’s hand. “I know there’s enough love in your heart to fill all the spaces this child needs. You will be enough for her — I am certain of it.” There was a pause before she continued. “Of course, in a town like this, there’s no shortage of potential mates for a single woman like yourself.”

  Katie felt that color leach from her face. “I have less than no interest in remarrying, Cassie. I am happy for you that you seem to have found a good man that makes you happy, but I am unwilling to take that chance myself. Once was quite enough for me to learn my lesson.”

  “Most men are not like he was,” Cassandra countered quietly.

  “But you never really know someone until you live with them.” Katie’s voice trailed off before she rallied and carried on briskly. “Anyhow, as you said, my heart definitely has plenty of room for my dear sweet Annie, and I will do all in my power to make a good life for her. Mel and I have already found a comfortable number of customers to sew for, and it provides me enough flexibility to be there for Annie. I walk with her to school and collect her after class. I visit customers while she is at school, so thus far there haven’t been any conflicts. Of course, it hasn’t been too long yet. I am sure there will be challenges. But so far so good.”

  Cassie squeezed her hand again and refrained from arguing. “I’m sure you’ll make a huge success of both your sewing and being a mother.” Cassie paused again. When she carried on, her tone was apologetic, as though she regretted her question even as she asked it. “Are you disappointed the teaching position fell through? You would have been able to be with her all day if you were at the school.”

  Katie smiled at her friend to let her know she had taken no offense from the question. “Not at all. I think it has all worked out for the best. In hindsight, it might have been too much for me to take on a large classroom of children from varying ages and backgrounds. There are currently only two classes at the school, so each teacher has children from a span of five years. I am quite content with my one little girl. And this way, I can assist her learning without being responsible for all of it.” Now she turned an impish grin on her friend. “And what about you? How are you managing with your three boys on a permanent basis? Have your parents forgiven you yet?”

  Cassie laughed. “Well, I never aspired to be a teacher, so I am delighted when the little darlings head off to school. It’s all I can manage to keep up with their questions at the end of the day.” She laughed again then sighed with contentment. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way. As for my parents, I’m not completely certain if they have forgiven me for not having a high society wedding, but according to my mother’s most recent letter, they are considering coming out for a visit. It does help that Charles is an Emmerson, of course.”

  “Of course,” Katie agreed with a chuckle, shaking her head over the ridiculousness of the wealthy. She was determined that her daughter would learn to fend for herself. Katie would never expect the girl to need a husband to support her. Realizing that her heart had begun to race, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves, reminding herself once again that surely not all men were dangerous.

  The clock in the hallway sounded the hour. With a start, Katie realized that time was slipping by. She quickly got to her feet.

  “It was so nice to have a little visit, Cass. Do stop by the house the next time you’re in town, please. I’m terribly sorry to cut it short, but I really must be on my way.”

  “No apologies needed, my friend. Get on with your business. You were straight with me from the beginning. I promise I will come by really soon.”

  With a quick, tight hug, Katie said goodbye and then hurried away. She needed to reach her destination, conduct her appointment, and then return for Annie before the child became anxious. Katie’s new reason to live was to ensure Annie was comfortable. It crossed her mind that this sounded obsessive, but she shoved the thought from her mind. It was a mother’s obligation to see to the well being of her child, she reassured herself. Once they were settled into a routine, she would strive for balance. But in the meantime, it wouldn’t harm either of them if she obsessed a little over her new daughter’s happiness. After the losses they both had endured, it was just what they both needed.

  Katie was relieved that her new client knew exactly what she wanted and was ready for her when she arrived. The style the woman was asking for, while a little more complicated than what she and Melanie usually did, wasn’t beyond their abilities.

  “It might take a day or two extra, though, to make sure all the pleating and embroidery is just so,” Katie cautioned the woman.

  “That’s all right,” Mrs. Levitt assured her. “I’ve been waiting for years for someone to say they could make me my dream dress. I can easily wait a couple extra days.”

  Katie was relieved by the woman’s easygoing reaction and reminded herself once more that her decision to settle in Bucklin had been a wise one.

  She was nearly skipping with contentment as she made her way back toward the school. Her bouncing steps came to a swift, stuttering halt when she recognized who was striding toward her. She glanced around quickly for an avenue of escape. One more thing to miss from New York. There were always alleys one could scurry down in the big city. Here in this town, it would be far too embarrassingly obvious if she tried to avoid him.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Carter. What a pleasure to run into you on this fine day.” Dr. Jeffries lifted his hat to her. She tried not to find it gallant. She averted her eyes so that her gaze wouldn’t be drawn by his handsome features. Katie would not allow them to dwell on his sharp cheekbones or warm green eyes. And she most certainly would not glance at the charming dimple that was sure to peep at her if he smiled. The cookie Mrs. Levitt had offered her began to revolve uncomfortably in her stomach.

  Katie realized she hadn’t responded but was merely standing still staring off into the distance like a simpleton. With a disgusted roll of her eyes, she offered the doctor a slight curtsy.

  “Good afternoon, sir. I cannot tarry as I have to collect my daughter from the school.”

  “Of course, I would never wish to detain you.” He offered her a slight bow.

  Katie could feel hot color splashing high on her cheeks, but she avoided meeting the doctor’s gaze as she hurried past him. She knew it was ridiculous. He was probably a decent man. She had never heard any of the townsfolk speak anything but well of him.

  She felt like a fool. And well she should, she assured herself harshly. It was foolish to be afraid of a man just because he was handsome. Surely not all handsome men were cruel and dangerous. Most would consider his good looks an asset. Katie had even heard some of the women giggling about what good medicine it was to look at the doctor. But she couldn’t agree.

  Chapter Eight

  K atie strolled along, content to enjoy the music
in the air. The leaves rustling, the birds chirping, the crunch of the gravel under her feet. It was nothing like the city. And she loved it. For the first time in years she felt contentment. It had taken her a while to figure out what the sensation was. Then she realized that for the first time in maybe her entire life, she wasn’t consumed with worries or anxieties. Sure, she was concerned for her and Annie’s future, but she was filled with confidence that she was up to the task of facing it. Despite the abuse she had faced at her husband’s hands and words, she had fought hard to regain her sense of self. She now knew what it meant to be happy. And she would do whatever it took to maintain that for herself and her daughter.

  She felt like skipping but thought it would be too undignified for a matron like herself. She grinned. Maybe once Annie was with her. She picked up her pace, eager to see Annie after the afternoon’s absence. She laughed out loud before glancing around quickly. Even though she wasn’t in a city anymore, there were still people around and she didn’t want anyone thinking she was crazy. She grinned. What did it matter? No one’s opinion mattered but her own. She laughed again. She felt as though she were glowing from the joy in her heart.

  When she arrived at her destination, she couldn’t find anyone at first. The house appeared to be empty. No one responded to her increasingly fervent knocking. Her worry escalated. She ran around to the back of the house. It felt as though her heart was lodged in her throat when she saw the group clustered behind the barn. She couldn’t see clearly through the tangle of legs, but lying on the ground was a bright splash of color that exactly matched the frock Annie had worn that morning to go play with her friend.

  Katie shoved her fist into her mouth to stifle the scream that was trying to escape her throat. Picking up her skirts, she ran over to the group. Suzie’s mother grabbed her before she got all the way to her daughter. At the moment, in her mounting fear, Katie couldn’t remember the family name and wasn’t about to tax her brain with figuring it out.

  “Mrs. Carter, dear, you can’t be letting your wee one see you in a taking. We’ve called for the doctor, he should be here any moment. Take a deep breath now.” The older woman had spoken in a low, soothing voice but right by her ear, so Katie heard her clearly. She knew she needed to calm down and the woman had meant well, but the thought of the doctor coming for her daughter had her in a worse state than seeing her on the ground had. She knew that no one called the doctor unless it was absolutely necessary. Most farmers had the basic skills needed to patch up the usual scrapes and bruises children accumulated.

  Closing her eyes, Katie willed strength into her limbs. You’ve been through worse, Katie girl, you can handle this. Nothing will happen to Annie. Breathe. She listened to her inner voice and took a deep steadying breath before pulling her arm out of the other woman’s grasp with a small smile to let her know she meant no offense. The crowd parted, and she was by her daughter’s side, dropping to her knees and hovering to ascertain the damage.

  “What happened?” she asked, proud to hear that her voice sounded reasonably steady.

  “The girls thought they would try flying,” Suzie’s father answered wryly with a gesture toward the opening above their heads. Katie could see it was a well stocked haymow. Her eyes widened as she looked back down at her daughter.

  “Is your daughter all right?”

  “She lost her nerve and didn’t jump. She climbed down and came for help when your little one got hurt. I’m right sorry, Mrs. Carter. I know your girl is from the city. Ours should’ve known better and stopped her.”

  Katie appreciated the man’s words, but despite her devastation, she couldn’t let the other little girl take the full blame. “I would have thought Annie would have the sense to know jumping from such a height is a bad idea. But never mind about that now. Has she been moved? Can I touch her? Is she bleeding anywhere?”

  “I will ascertain that for you right now,” came a deep voice from behind her. Katie stifled her involuntary reaction. For a moment, she wanted to throw herself into the doctor’s arms. But that would be wrong on so many levels. Most of all because he was there to tend to her child, not soothe her rattled nerves. She offered him a tight smile by way of greeting.

  “Thank you, doctor.”

  He didn’t return her smile, keeping his full focus on Annie. Katie didn’t mind; it was where it should be. She could barely breathe; her chest was so tight with anxiety. She reminded herself once more to keep the air flowing into her lungs. The last thing any of them needed was for her to collapse next to her daughter.

  The doctor made short work of examining the child. He worked swiftly but before he could even finish, Annie coughed and slowly opened her eyes. When what she saw was the doctor, she screamed her alarm and burst into tears. Katie quickly pushed the doctor aside and gathered her daughter into her arms.

  “Oh, my poor darling, everything is going to be fine. Tell me where it hurts.” Katie tried to be soothing.

  “Am I dying? I don’t want the doctor. I told you I shouldn’t have come here.” Her words came out in jerking gasps around her sobs.

  “Hush now, Annie. You most certainly are not dying. But you did a very foolish thing when you jumped out of that window, and this is the consequence. You need to let the doctor finish checking to make sure you didn’t do any serious damage to yourself.”

  “No, please, no doctor,” Annie whimpered.

  Katie forced herself to meet Doctor Jeffries’ gaze. “Were you finished with your examination?”

  “I still need to examine her head,” he answered quietly.

  Annie burrowed closer into Katie’s arms. “Shhh, darling, it will all be fine. How about if I hold onto you, and he just feels around to make sure you didn’t crack it like an egg?”

  Her pitiful attempts at levity actually had an effect. Annie’s sobs were interrupted, and a watery chuckle emerged from the child. “I’m not an egg.”

  “No, and you’re not a bird either, as you have learned the hard way, didn’t you?” she reminded the child quietly. “Now just cuddle right into me, my dear, and I’m sure Mr. Jeffries will be as quick as he can.” She offered the doctor a pointed look when she mentioned speed, hoping he wouldn’t take offense over her lack of his medical title. Katie felt there was no need to remind the child she was being examined by the dreaded doctor.

  He must have understood her meaning since he offered her a small wink before he continued with his gentle examination.

  “I am quite sure she only knocked the wind out of herself with a rough landing, but this lump on her head does give me some concern. The fact that she hasn’t vomited is reassuring, but you will have to watch her closely for the next day or two. Will that be a problem for you? If you cannot remain with her, perhaps Mrs. Marsden could keep her for you.”

  Katie was horrified at the suggestion. She didn’t want to offend the other woman, but she could barely contain her gasp of shock. “I beg your pardon? Of course, I can manage to keep close watch over my daughter.” She glared at the man, but her dirty look barely seemed to faze him. His cold stare chilled her to the bone as she clutched her now quiet daughter to her chest. She couldn’t understand his sudden change of attitude. Just a moment ago, he had seemed almost comforting as he accepted her reluctance to call him doctor. She didn’t think she had any composure left, but she gathered the last shreds of her dignity and, with Annie still clinging tightly, she managed to get herself to her feet. Glancing around at the gathered spectators, she offered them all a tight nod and a thinly polite smile.

  “Thank you for your help,” she offered vaguely to everyone and stepped away from the group, walking slowly so as not to jar her pale child.

  “Are you mad at me, Mama?” Annie’s quiet voice broke the silence that had surrounded them as they made their way home.

  Katie’s heart constricted at the sweet sound of being someone’s mother. But she hurried to reassure the child. “Of course I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. You have many things you have to lea
rn. It’s unfortunate you had to learn this lesson the hard way, but I’m sure you’ll never make the mistake of trying to fly ever again, will you?”

  “Never, ever,” the child said. Her voice was still low but her mouth was less droopy as at least one of her concerns was lessened. “The doctor seemed to be mad, though, didn’t he?”

  Katie sighed. “Yes, he did, but don’t worry yourself too much over that. We don’t need to concern ourselves with what anyone else thinks. If he didn’t see fit to tell us why he was mad, then we needn’t bother about it either.”

  “Are you very certain?”

  Now Katie had to grin. “I am absolutely one hundred percent certain that I do not give a fig for that man’s thoughts, as long as he has assured me that you are well, he can keep the rest of it to himself.”

  Despite her continued pallor, Annie grinned at Katie for a moment before more concerns came to her mind. “Am I too heavy for you to carry? Maybe you should put me down and I can walk.”

  Katie shook her head. “You gave me quite a fright when I saw you lying on the ground. I am finding comfort in having you in my arms. And you are not nearly heavy enough. I am starting to think that I haven’t been feeding you as much as I ought.”

  This seemed to do the trick of turning the child’s mind away from her worries as she was able to let out a small giggle and begin to imagine how she could fatten up.

  “Maybe we could stop at the mercantile and buy some sweets,” she suggested with a wiggle.

  Katie laughed. “Or maybe we could bake a cake when we get home.”

  “Oh, that would be wonderful, then we can share with Miss Mel, too.”

  “I think that is the best idea. No doubt Miss Mel could use some extra flesh on her bones as well.” Katie said that just as they were approaching their small house, her voice pitched just right so that Melanie, who was standing near the open window, could hear. She burst into laughter as she opened the door wide for them to enter.